“In this new experience of the world being so small, triste post iterum certainly plays its part, the sadness after the journey that we experience when we return home after an intense long journey. (…) Then, having put our suitcases in the hall, we ask: Is that all there is? Is that what it is? So that was it? ” (Olga Tokarczuk – Nobel Prize winner, “The tender Narrator”)
And what sadness must it be when you come back from a journey that was supposed to be forever? Then unpacking your suitcases is even more difficult, because you are not sure if you came home or if there is no home anymore? Or maybe, if home is where the heart is, then it is still where it was – in the very core of the Heart of God?
How do I get back from a trip that lasted 9 years? How do I not lose what is valuable and at the same time not get stuck in dwelling on the past? It surely takes time for God to heal a broken heart and shattered dreams. I know He’ll build something wonderful out of these pieces, but it’s not that easy to believe when I see them lying strewn into tiny pieces. What is left is Hope that never dies, an unbreakable Faith in the Promise and the certainty that it is ultimately all about Love, so nothing else really matters…
Travelling not only educates but also changes lives. There are several trips from which I have not returned the same. Surely this, quarter-of-my-life long one, is one of them. In my consecrated life I am suspended somewhere between “I am no longer” and “I am not yet” and I do not know where this will lead me, but I know that I am walking with Jesus, and since He is the Way, I cannot get lost.
See you on the trail! 🙂
p.s. This might seem like the first entry on this blog, but don’t be fooled by appearances. A blog with a long history, dating back not only to the beginnings of my religious life, but also to a year’s stay in Kenya, can be found at https://siostraewa.blog.deon.pl/. Unfortunately, something went wrong there with the language option, so there is no translation 🙁
Leave a Reply